Rachel Simmons says one constant theme she's seen with girls is their unwillingness to draw attention to themselves, toot their own horn, for fear that confidence will be taken as conceit. She suggests five things you can do to help your daughter:

Be a role model. When you do something well, admit it: “I argued a great case in court today.” “That was a good dinner I made.”

Get her to identify her strengths. Ask her what she liked about her performance at a game or show, or her work on a paper, test or project. If she says, “I like that I made friends” or “I like that I worked well with others,” push her to say something about her skills or qualities, such as being determined or having a good corner kick.

Make your home a self-put-down free zone.

Encourage your daughter to accept compliments. Too many girls automatically deflect when they're told they're good, kicking into, “No, I'm not” or “You are, too!” Girls need to say thank you when they're recognized.

Become media savvy. When you see girls and women behaving diffidently on television or in movies, say something. Discuss the message the character sends to others. If you see a confident woman or girls, point that out, too.

– JANE CLIFFORD